I know that I must be studying now. Wasting time is like wasting the whole 4 months that I have been studying, that is what I always do,doing my best during the term and withdrawing from the challenge during the examinations.

I don't exactly know why, maybe there is a "Me" inside who doesnt like it happen, doesn't like me to get involved in this stupid competition any deeper.

But it is not a good solution to this, if she wants me to do something else, she must give me clues, if she has any ideas, she must share, any keys to success, why not telling me?

I feel confused all the time, spend time online and it even makes me feel worse, I watch TV, walk, but I don't talk, there is this chaos in my mind that doesn't let me talk, I pick up the phone, probe the numbers, think of someone whom I like to call, I put it down and leave.

Let me not say there is no one to call, let's say I have no urge to talk.

I just hope this pass.

Va in niz bogzarad.